You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
