just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
