We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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