i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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