Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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