I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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