Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
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The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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