You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
