Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
