areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
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Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
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the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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