Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
