In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
