dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
