You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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