You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
