p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
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just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
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Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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