He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
