Its about making memories worth repressing
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
