Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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