I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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