That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize