This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
