mondays should just be called national damage control day
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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