id be glad to
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think people are normalizing furries
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
