Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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