Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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