Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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