Yo dont text me then not text me
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
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I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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