U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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