He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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