Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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