i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
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This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
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You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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