i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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