but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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