She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
