clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
