Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
