Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
