shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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