why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
