Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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