dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
