dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
