Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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