at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
