i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
