i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
