I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
