Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i may or may not be watching the land before time
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
