I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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