Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
