Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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