tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!