If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.