Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
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