I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
