remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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