is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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