is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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