The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
