well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
