Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
