If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
