I was born with a shot glass in my hand
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
