First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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