Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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